The Little Book of AntiCloud

Incorporating The Little Book of AntiDevOps

Declared enemies of the state

Transgressors are to be shot on sight

  • Scheduled jobs running at 2am
  • intolerant readers
  • Active Directory
  • Windows with a UI
  • manual deployment steps
  • SOAP
  • Email
  • Walking up to someone to ask them a question
  • Sticky Sessions on load balancers
  • Cryptic commit messages
  • Leaving code uncommitted on a main branch overnight
  • Meetings
  • Timezones
  • RDPing or SSHing into instances (OK, sometimes this is anti-cloud and sometimes it’s not)
  • Meetings
  • Yes, I said meetings twice. Meetings are terribly anti-DevOps
  • Servers that don’t self-provision
  • Hardware
  • Microsoft Exchange
  • XML
  • Lack of pervasive, high-speed wifi
  • An office without Lego in it
  • Windows Server 2003
  • Documentation that’s not right there in the source code where it should be
  • Interruptions
  • Scheduled one-on-ones
  • RESTful APIs that aren’t actually RESTful
  • Forgetting what branch you’re working on
  • Timesheets
  • The United States of America’s ridiculous obstinacy about date formats
  • Manual Testing
  • The Measure-CFNTemplateCost Cmdlet
  • SharePoint
  • Malcolm Turnbull
  • Processes that require a logged-in desktop to run
  • and processes that run as local or domain admin (thank you Paul Wakeford¬†for reminding me these two things exist)
  • Hewlett fucking Packard
  • Meatspace
  • Page refreshes
  • Anything that’s not API-first
  • URIs that change (thank you @HappySinger)
  • Humans

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